I don't do what's best for me, only best for my kids...

Alyise has fit the perfect word to describe the series of unfortunate events that have been unravelling so quickly that it has blind sided everyone.

I've been on the phone often with Shannon lately, she is Kayle's mommy. Breanna and Alyise love their sister Kayle, but Shannon is having a hard time dealing with the crap their dad has put them through. Breanna overheard me talking to Shannon about Chris going back to Desirae. So at the dinner table all I mention to them is that daddy is with Desirae again, not Shannon anymore. Alyise goes through the motions of spitting water out of her mouth like she's just heard some shocking news without actually having water in her mouth. I ask her what she's doing and she tells me:

"Oh, I do that when I hear something just so ridiculous! That is just so ridiculous."

This situation really is ridiculous. I really have no clue where in the world she gets these ideas and thoughts from! It's highly entertaining none the less. Both of my girls are smart, loving, generous little girls. Nothing like their father at all. I only say that in the most sincere way with a slight hint of bitterness towards Christopher who seems to have his head stuck somewhere I don't even want to talk about.

Allegation #1:
Alyise is not Chris.

Chris' Reason:
I cheated on him multiple times, I'm a whore, slept with whom ever I wanted.

Fact:
Chris is the father. I told him that I had kissed another man. He has been building up this story of "no one just kisses". I was 19 and he was the only guy I had been with. I wasn't and am not a slut.

Allegation #2:
Breanna is not Chris.

Chris' Reason:
Breanna and her cousin Jasmine looks so much alike that I had to have slept with his brother-in-law, Eric.

Fact:
Chris is the father. I never even gotten close enough to Eric to smell body odor, there is NO possible way that he got me pregnant. Honestly, Jasmine and Breanna do look a LOT alike but that's not what happened.

I have been caring for these children day after day with little help from Chris. I have not received one penny worth of child support since June 2009 from Chris. I even generously gave him money not even a month ago because he was a bit behind on his bills. (He REFUSES to get a job, claiming that window construction will pick up soon). When he does help me, I have to hear complaints about how they eat all of his food, or how they do this or that. One day I was there to pick them up and Chris had a bag of chips open. They got a couple of chips out and Chris snapped at them telling them to quit eating his chips, his food. Then he has the nerve to say that the girls should live with him. Why, so he can complain about something else they do? So he can live off welfare and milk the system instead of working and honestly taking care of them?

Not gonna happen. Especially not now.

It's one thing to not want to take responsibility of your own children, another to actually try. It is a completely different situation entirely when you don't even acknowledge the children to be your own! I'm pretty sure Desirae has been slipping Chris drugs, never has he EVER denied Breanna or Alyise as being his children! Why now is he trying to come up with these obscene stories?

I'll admit the truth. It is hard for me to believe that he would even consider such things. Especially about me as a person when morally, I tend to stick on the right path! Everyone has their falls but I have do not have any reason at all to believe that my children have any other father but Christopher! It is not possible. Although at this point I would rather them be someone elses children.

Chris has decided to move back in with Desirae. He knows that if he is with her, the girls will not be around. I refuse to have my children around someone that is physically abusive towards their father; someone who will leave them alone in vehicles, unsupervised; someone who drives them around without car seats; someone who will try to start fights with their mother in front of them. My daughters are WAY too good for white trash society. Since the only way to ensure this is to order a Civil Harassment Restraining Order against her, so be it. Chris wants to drive over to my house with the cops saying he'll get the kids. Didn't think that I'd out him to the cops about him not having a license. He's not making smart choices and I'm tired of making his life easy.

We're going back to the Department of Child Support Services and I'm re-opening his child support case. I probably wont get a dime until they are older but maybe he'll try to get tricky and run from it. He'll only get supervised visitation because his girlfriend is crazy and will have a restraining order from all three of us against her. She sure as hell wont let him come over here to see the kids. I'm just hoping that with all of this (restraining order, massive back child support, little visitation, the kids "not being his") that he'll do me the biggest favor in the world and simply sign over ALL of his rights for the children. No more child support. No more worries. He can live his life with his psychotic and mentally disturbed girlfriend and selfish and rude son.